Koala the Second

So, my not-blog-post in which I drew a picture of a koala got me thinking. What if a koala wasn’t just a koala? What if it was also a radioactive demon superhero with fangs? 

The character I envisioned in my head was so beautiful, so endearing that I couldn’t help but wonder who he was and what his life was like. 

Perhaps the demonkoala struggled in the beginning to come to terms with his existence and his nucleodemonic powers. 

He would remain forever unloved, for the nuclear radiation coming off his body would prevent him from ever being able to touch and hold a she-koala. 

His life would be full of loneliness and misery.

But eventually, after many long and lonely nights considering his wretched existence, our demonkoala would realise that he could use his radioactive powers from hell to do good in the world. He didn’t have to live life as a destroyer. He would come to terms with what he was, and become a hero along the way, by using his powers to rid the world of evil. 

What a beautiful story. It had drama, tragedy, romance, and a heroic, passionate ending. That’s all a good story needs, if you ask me personally. On that note, here is a picture of me with a koala. 

I covered my actual face with a drawing of an extremely white smiley-face (which actually bears remarkable likeness to my own), because I don’t think the general Internet-public is yet ready for my face’s incredible sexual appeal.

I no longer own this koala, whose name is Waaley – I gave him to my boyfriend because I felt that his true calling in life was to be in his possession. Also, he reminded me of my boyfriend, because he’s cute and fluffy and..

Uh.

Anyway, the point is. For the brief time that I did own Waaley, we became instant besties and had a wonderful week together. During this time, I couldn’t help but notice the fact that he wears a purple bow-tie, a fact which you have doubtless noticed also. And it got me thinking, what if koalas could get all dressed up for a night on the town? For example: how sexy would a koala look with a moustache?

And how about a top hat for added pizzazz?

And to top off his look, I think this koala needs a monocle to make him look refined and intelligent.

Damn. Get in quick, lady koalas – this dashing young chap won’t stay single for long.

To be honest, this blog post was just an excuse to draw more koalas.

Koala

I've been trying to write another blog post, but for one reason or another it's not happening. It will happen eventually. But it's not happening right now. So I made you a picture of a koala. 

Reasons One Doesn’t Need Drugs or Alcohol: Reason #57

I have always stood by my conviction that drugs and alcohol are nothing but bad news, and today I am here to appeal to those of you who enjoy making yourselves stupid and fucking with your mental functions to give up the drink and/or drugs, for I have found a cheaper way to get that high you so love:

Exhaustion.

Now, I can proudly say that I have never been drunk or high, but from what I’ve seen/heard/read about it, people who suffer extreme exhaustion behave in remarkably similar ways to people who are off their faces. The other night, I found myself feeling so tired that both my body and mind were having difficulty functioning properly. I was stumbling around, unable to quite see straight, and banging into things. Typing and speech also became a bit of a struggle. Sound familiar? Let me expand, then, on the free, safe fun you can have with exhaustion.

For those of you drunkards out there, exhaustion will give you that familiar feeling of forgetting how gravity works/losing the battle against balance:

You will also experience an inability to formulate sentences correctly, and quite probably end up saying things that don’t quite make grammatical sense and will embarrass you no end once you’ve ‘sobered up’ in the morning, so to speak.

For those of you who enjoy the feeling of being stoned out of your mind, I can safely say that exhaustion will give you hours of fun sitting/standing and staring off blankly into space with only the faintest idea of what the fuck is going on and little to no ability to care:

Whatever your passion, exhaustion will provide you with a variety of fun experiences you would never be able to have while you were fully aware of yourself, your surroundings, and the basic facts of life:

For those of you who dig them ’shrooms, if you’re exhausted enough you will even experience hallucinations, free of charge! Now that’s what I call a good night out.

Nothing beats flying chicken drumsticks, am I right? I’m right, aren’t I? With that in mind, what are you waiting for? Try exhaustion today!